Would you kill to save a life
by HybridsandWands
Summary: this has been adopted by MsLilyWhitlock!
1. Pulling me Under

Would you kill to save a life?

A/N: So I know I said I wouldn't write a Twilight story ever again. I lied. But Really I just hate Whiny Bella and That nasty douche Edward (sorry to those that like him but I just don't like him or Rob. Stalker is not my cup of man) I do on the other hand LOVE me some Texan vamp. Jasper can fit with Alice or Bella though for me (and I do love Alice, hell most of my Twilight fan friends tell me I remind them of her) any story I write for Jasper and Bella will have Alice as a bitch.

Warning: This story will have BDSM themes. It will have Bondage, spanking, flogging. If you find ANY of this offensive then turn back now! This is a Dom!Jasper/Major story. Bella will not be weak but she will be SUBMISSIVE TO THE MAJOR! You have been warned.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. SM owns most all I just took Jasper out of his box and toyed with him a bit.

Pulling me Under

Chapter 1

_**Bella's POV**_

"_I don't want you"_

_I don't want you _

_Don't want you_

_Don't want you_

I stood there for what seemed like hours. The rain had already soaked me even through my heavy jacket, though it had only stayed at a drizzle. Edward's words ran through my mind on a loop. How could he do this? How could he push me aside so easily , as though I was a broken toy. A pet that was no longer of use to him.

_Because he never loved you._

'Shut up' I told the voice that whispered through my brain. It wasn't real. He did love me. He _had_ loved me. Hadn't he?

I could feel the chill now and I shivered. It was enough to break me from my thoughts and I looked around. Edward was gone. He had left with just a kiss to my head , his lips chilling and there was no tenderness to that kiss. I remembered that now. His touch had been icy, not because of his marble skin but because there had been no emotion to it.

He really didn't love me.

"Bella? BELLA? ISABELLA!"

I turned to look behind me and I could see Charlie walking towards me. I could see the fear in his eyes and then a flash of worry. "Bella I've been calling for you for an hour. What are you doing standing out here? Jesus you're soaked"

'He's gone…" My voice sounded wrong in my ears. Broken and detached. My heart stopped as it sank in. Edward was gone. He was gone and he had taken my family, HIS family with him.

"What? Who's gone? Bella?" Charlie's face showed his confusion and I looked back to the spot the HE had been standing in.

"Edward…He's gone…he left me"

"He…Left…." I could hear the confusion in my dad's voice then anger as he spoke again "He broke up with you and left you out here? Alone!"

I felt a weight on my arm and I looked down as if in a daze. My body felt like it was in a fog as I tried to make out that it was Charlie's hand on my arm. My eyes flicked up to look him in the face and my vision blurred slightly, making it hard for me to tell what look he wore. "Bella come on , let's get you inside and then I'm calling Doctor Cullen."

He pulled me with me but I stopped in my tracks at the name of my second father. Carlisle. The head of the vampire family I had falling in love with. "They're all gone…They all left. He said it was better that way."

Charlie let out what sounded like a growl and I snapped my head up to look at him in shock. "Shit," He muttered before pulling on my arm once more "Bella let's go inside and you can warm up and get out of those wet clothes. We can talk about this when we aren't in the rain."

I let him pull me inside. I didn't care about the chill. I only knew that I was alone.

A few hours later I was curled up on my left side in my bed staring at the wall. I could hear voices down stairs but could only make out a few words.

"Catatonic….Won't talk….Billy….Do I do now?"

My dad must be talking to Billy Black. My brain was trying to get me to focus, to understand what was going on around me but I couldn't shake the fog.

_Stop this! You're better than this! Why mourn for him when he left you! He gave you up! It's his loss not yours!_

I pushed the voice aside and shut my eyes, squeezing them as if that would drown everything out. I just wanted to let myself drift away and forget. Forget that Edward was gone. That they were all gone and that I had been left behind. That I was unwanted by them.

I let myself drift into the blackness.

JBJBJBJBJBJBJBJBJ

_Knock knock_

"Bells? Bella you need to get up and eat."

I laid there not blink as my eyes stayed glued to the rocking chair in the corner. Edward had sat there at night. I thought if I stared hard enough I could see him. I could almost hear his voice and see his crooked smile.

"Bella come on. You need to eat." My Charlie…that was his voice I was hearing. I tried to will my body to work but still the fog wouldn't lift. I could tell my dad was started to get angry with me but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't find the will to keep going.

"Damnit Bella. You need to pull out of this. I know you loved the boy but you can't just lie around in bed all day and let yourself waste away!" I heard the door shut and I let out a sigh, closing my eyes and letting the darkness pull me under again.

JBJBJBJBJBJBJBJBJ

A/N: So this my first time writing Jasper/Bella. I've always loved these to , even when I first read the books. Do not worry , Bella will not stay in the depressed mode to long. Like I said before, I can't stand whiny Bella. But right now she is at the stage where she just lost her first love. I already have chapter two done and will post it next week. So…

-Shoves Jasper in front of her- He will be giving out back rubs and he has cookies waiting (made by Esme of course) for those that review


	2. Made of Stone

A/N -peaks out from under her rock- Eh Hey guys! Uh sorry for the long wait on the update here. RL got a bit crazy. And I was having problems with this chapter. I didn't like the ending of it and had to rewrite it about ten times –sighs- Forgive me?

To all my reviewers THANK YOU! I couldn't believe I had so many in such a short time span of me posting the first Chapter! I do want to clear up one thing: The JBJBJB thing you guys see in the chapters is a way to separate time and my A/n from the story. Sorry if that confused anyone!

On with the chapter!

_**JBJBJBJBJBJBJBJBJBJBJBJB**_

Chapter Two

Made of stone

_Bella's POV_

The days turned to weeks as time went on. I had finally pulled myself out of bed and made an attempted to eat and I showed at Jake's insistence. He had come over and sat on the edge of my bed looking at me. After a few slow minutes he spoke "Bella, You have Charlie worried sick. Hell we all are. You need to get out of bed and move on."

Move on? How was I supposed to do that? I had just lost the one person that I had given my heart to and he had ripped it out like it was nothing. I blinked up at Jake and he sighed.

"At least shower Bells. You stink worse than Charlie's cooking!"

I heard my dad call out at that and Jake just laughed before his face went back to the serious look it had held before "Bella if you don't get out of bed I swear I will pick you up and put you in the shower. And I will not use hot water."

When I hadn't moved he groaned and moved to lift me. At first I just laid in his arms. He grunted before he took me into the bathroom and sat me in the shower. I shrieked when the water hit my with an icy blast and for once my fast twisted into something other than a blank look as I glared up at my friend. He glared back at me.  
>"I told you."<p>

Since that day I had made it to the shower on my own and even started eating a bit more. It was for them though. Everything I did was for my dad and Jake. I went to school but stayed out of the way. It wasn't hard because after a little while people stopped asking me if I was ok or hovering over me. I liked that.

I was sitting in my room when Jake busted in. The sound of the door hitting the wall behind it made me flinch but that was all. I just stared out the window in till Jakes frame blocked my view. His large brown eyes bored into mine and I had to look away. I couldn't handle seeing those eyes filled with the anger.

"No! Damnit Bella you are going to look at me right fucking now!" He cupped my chin in his large hand and turned my head to look at him "Listen to me Bella, You are NOT weak. Your better than this shit! Edward was a fucking idiot but you cannot, WILL NOT, sit here and try to make yourself waste away in front of Charlie's eyes! " He sighed and I cast my eyes down to look at my hands in my lap. "Bella, sweetheart, I know it hurts but your letting him win if you just sit here and let life pass you by. "

His words stirred that little voice in side my head. _See! See even he says it! Come on. If Edward really loved you he would never have left. This is not your fault get up!_

I sat staring at my hands, blinking as tears tried to force themselves down. Where they right? And where the hell had this voice come from. She can go to hell.

_Ha! Fat chance. You need me. Now get your skinny pasty ass up. _

I looked at Jake, the tears blurring my vision of him "What if I can't?' My voice sounds raspy, unused. "It hurts Jake. He promised to stay with me, he said he loved me! Was that a lie! Was I nothing but a toy to him? A way to pass the time?" My voice got stronger and as I spoke I could feel that my broken heart was starting to become numb. "I gave him my heart, my soul and he tore it to shreds like it was fucking NOTHING!"

I broke. Jake wrapped his arms around him and held me to him as I cried. It was the first time I had really just let it go, all of it and cried. And Jake let me, just holding me while I shook. Each tear that fell only made my heart grow more and more numb. I don't know how much time had passed but finally the tears subsided and looked at my best friend.

"You're right. He left me. But I'm not dead yet."

I looked up at Jake as I wiped at my face. Pushing back I gave a shadow of a smile "Thank you Jake. I'm sorry for being such a pain"

I wasn't in the clear. Not yet. It still hurt. But I was starting to turn the pain into hate.

JBJBJBJBJBJBJBJBJB

"Bella! Come on, please?"

"Jake why would I want to go to the rez? Last I checked the bonfires where for the tribe and, uhh, Hello Pale Face here!"

Jake laughed as I waved my hand in front of his face. It had only been a few since , as Jake called it, My 'Break through from Doucheward'. And while I still hurt I wasn't just putting on a show, I really was trying to move on. It would just take some time. Though for Jakes point of view I had already wasted around for a month and a half so I had enough time.

"Bells, Like that matters? Billy wants you there ok?" I sighed as he gave me the puppy eyes. How the hell is he so good at the puppy eyes! Should guys even be allowed to do that? 

I heaved out a sigh as I pulled my eyes from his "Alright! I'll go, enough with the puppy eyes! "

Jake let out a whoop and gave me a huge grin "Thanks Bells. Now go get changed. We have to be at the Rez in an hour."

I shook my head and laughed softly before getting up off the couch. Charlie was at work so Jake and I had come down stairs to grab some food and watch a little TV. Well He watched, I just spaced out as I tried to force down my peanut butter and jelly sandwich and O.J.

I headed up stairs and pulled out a pair of faded jeans and a long sleeve tee and slipped them on. I caught sight of myself in my mirror and my eyes went wide. I had dark circles under both eyes and my hair was a bit of a tangled mess. The hair was an easy fix but the circles…With my pale complexion they made me look close to how the…how they had looked.

I yanked my eyes away from the image in the mirror and grabbed my hair brush. After jerking the brush through the tangled mop on my head I pulled it up into a ponytail before I searched for what little make up I owned. Finding the concealer I put some on under my eyes, and while it lessened the darkness I still didn't look that great. With a heavy sigh I headed back downstairs to Jacob.

He was standing at the front door waiting for me with my coat. I gave him a smile, though I knew it wouldn't reach my eyes and he returned it. I let him help me slip on my windbreaker and we headed out to the car.

_****_

A/N: Ok so Bella is getting there right? Next Chapter will be a bit of our handsome Texan. But I do want to ask you all something: should Bella be told the story of the wolves at the bonfire or should she have a run in with Sam or even Paul in Wolf form? Also I'm looking for a beta for the story since my loving Fiancé dislikes anything to do with Twilight and wont Beta like he normally does for me.

Message me if you're up for it! Till next time have some Jacob this time around! –pushed the dog towards them- Treat the ladies (and fellas) nice Jakey!


End file.
